The card game where the last one out… pongs.
Get rid of all your cards before everyone else does. Play them strategically, use your special cards wisely — and whatever you do, don’t be the last one holding.
The last player left with cards is crowned the ShitSmelly Head. They pong. They smell. They are, by general agreement, a bit ripe.
Use a standard 52-card deck with no jokers. Each player is dealt nine cards in three groups — in this exact order:
3 cards placed face down. Don’t peek — these are your last resort.
3 cards placed face up on top of the face-down cards, visible to all.
3 cards held in your hand. These are what you play from first.
Once dealt, each player has a one-time opportunity to swap any of their face-up cards with cards from their hand. The general strategy is to put your best cards face-up — everyone can see them, and players can play towards them to help you get stuck.
Suits don’t matter — only the number counts. Cards rank from lowest to highest:
Note: The 2, 3, and 10 are special cards and sit outside this ranking — see the Special Cards section below.
The player to the left of the dealer who has the lowest card goes first.
Check for a 4 first — that’s the worst card in the game, so whoever holds one is “lucky” enough to start. If nobody has a 4, check for a 5, then a 6, and so on upwards until someone can begin.
That first player places their starting card on the table to begin the central pile, and play continues to the left.
On your turn, you must play a card that meets or beats the value on top of the central pile — or play one of the special cards.
You can play multiple cards of the same value in one go. For example, if you have three Jacks, you can play all three at once.
Play from your cards in this order of priority:
Pick up the entire pile into your hand. The table is now clear and it’s your turn again — a good chance to get rid of your worst cards.
Pick up the entire pile and take one of your unplayable face-up cards into your hand too. This prevents you from being permanently stranded with a bad face-up card you can never escape — without this rule, the player before you could always play just above it, leaving you stuck every single turn.
Three cards can be played at any time, regardless of what’s on top of the pile. Each has a different effect:
Resets the pile. The next player can play any card — even a 4 beats a 2.
Invisible. The next player must beat the card below the 3, as if it wasn’t there.
The most powerful card. The entire pile is removed from the game and you play again with a blank table.
If the pile shows a Queen and someone plays a 3, the next player must still beat a Queen — the 3 is invisible, so the Queen is still the card to beat.
If four cards of the same value appear on top of the pile, it acts exactly like a 10 — the entire pile is removed and the player who completed the four goes again.
You don’t need to play all four yourself. If the pile already has three Queens on top and you add one more, that’s four Queens and the pile disappears.
Threes are invisible here too. If the top of the pile contains Q – Q – 3 – Q – 3 – Q, that still counts as four Queens, and the pile goes.
The first player to successfully play all their cards — from hand, then face-up, then face-down — is out. Keep playing until just one person remains.
The last player left holding cards is the ShitSmelly Head. They pong. They smell. They are said to be generally bad, and in no uncertain terms, a bit whiffy.